Panic attacks and how they affected my life

There is a lot to write about this matter.  These attacks that started in 2016 were very short in the beginning, like a couple of minutes. They usually started in the morning when I had to leave my house. I was afraid. The reason why was unknown to me. It felt good to just run outside and hug a tree. I did this so many times. Trees give you instant release and it was only after my depression that I started to read articles about the benefit of this kind of behavior. I always thought I was crazy doing this but now through reading, I found out what sylvotherapy ment and how one can benefit from it.
If you want to read a good book, I would recommend Blinded by science by Matthew Silverstone.
Biking was another thing that helped me calm down, it was better than walking actually because you need to focus more on your movements. Sometimes, I just jumped on my bike to get instant release of my nervousness.

One day, when I was driving to work, I was in need of calling Serge to tell me that everything was going to be ok. When I heard his voice, I immediately calmed down and could get back on track.

Later, the attacks started to get longer, no more minutes, but hours. Sometimes, I had good moments but I started to have a lot of bad moments during a day and it really freaked me out since I was not in control of these mood changes. Sometimes, when they started in the morning and I had to teach, they just stopped after my lectures because I was focusing on other stuff and other people and I still remember me feeling totally revived after I had been myself again.  Very strange feeling! I wished I felt like that ALL the time! It seems so easy but when you are in that state of mind, it is NOT easy... believe me!

So when I went to San Antonio to celebrate my 25th wedding Anniversary in October 2016, I had problems going to breakfast and face people. I was afraid to talk to people, I could not stand a crowd and was very nervous all the time. I felt so fragile and sensitive. 
We visited Sea World and I was ok for half of the day but the other half was exhausting. Being nervous all the time is really hard to live with. The thing is that you realize that but are in no control to change it! That is the scary part of it.

So this went on for a couple of months through 2017, with ups and downs, until I could not take it any longer because my heart was racing so bad. Then I decided to do something about it. I rushed to my doctor and had an emergency appointment that costed me $150.
But I couldn't care less, I was desperate and hurt and thought I was going to have a heart attack. That day was June 1st 2017. 

I will give myself a rest and continue writing tomorrow.
What can you do against anxiety? Here are some small changes that can help you.